Revised Teaching Notes, With Apologies to Paul Thek
Tom Morton
Name, user-name, password. Age, gender, race, birth-date, place of birth, position in family, nationality, religion, education, hobbies, career plans, crimes. Parents’ education, parents’ birthplace, parents’ religion, parents’ crimes.
Where do you now live? Do you want to escape? How much money do you have coming in? Where does it come from? Can I have some? What do you own? What have you borrowed? Will you give it back?
What are your requirements in a friend? Lover? Mate? Nemesis?
What kind of art do you like? Is it flat? Does it possess volume? Does it involve the participation of the viewer? Does it move through space? Does it move through time?
What do you read? How often? Do you write back?
Do you pay for content? Words? Sounds? Images?
What is your favourite colour in the Pantone Colour Matching System?
What are your politics? You must be kidding.
Have you ever had a serious illness? Serious accidents? Call me, you might have a claim.
What do you do on a date? What is the purpose of dating?
Do you believe in marital sex?
Does the world disappear when you die?
Tell us about the other members of your family (they need not be blood relatives).
Tell us about a second tier friend.
Tell us about someone who inspires you, or disappoints you.
Tell us about the most exciting thing you ever saw, did, regretted.
How many screens are there in your home? How many lenses? Which one do you use the most? Do you have privacy? Do you share your bed with anybody? What position do they sleep in? What do you do when their eyes are closed?
Do you take baths or showers? Do you wear perfume or aftershave? Does it adequately express who you are?
What style or look do you prefer? Does it have a name?
Do you exercise? How, and how often? Are you pleased with the results?
Do you believe in stem cell research? Have you thought this through?
What is your worst physical feature? Your best? What changes to your body do you plan to make?
What is the main source of difficulty between you and your parents? Teachers? Friends?
What annoys you most about others, and yourself?
What kind of teacher do you prefer?
If you were a teacher, what would you propose?
How would you grade your students? How would they grade you?
What is time? What is change? Is there a difference?
What is eternity? What is love? What is art? What is the symbolic realm?
What is Neuro-Linguistic Programming? What is faith?
Who do you emulate?
Who do you have on speed dial?
Who invades your personal space?
What in your life is your greatest source of pleasure? What do you wish it were?
How do you know if you like someone?
How do you know if someone is interested in you?
Do you like me? How can I tell?
How do you know you are happy, sad, nervous, bored, alienated?
What does this school need? This room? You? This city? This country? Me?
What is the participatory?
What is Discordianism?
What would it be like if you were God? How would we know your mind?
Redesign a rainbow, and a peace flag.
Design a labyrinth dedicated to Lacan, using his photograph and his writings (the use of mirrors is not allowed).
Design a Torah, and a tree of life.
Design a monstrance, and then design a moustache.
Illustrate secularism.
Add a station to the cross.
Design a memorial to a committee, and a memorial to Daddy Mention.
Design an abstract monument to Major Tom.
What is a good temple? What is a bad temple? Does a temple need to have walls?
Who is your favourite character in The Passion of the Christ?
Who is your favourite character in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off?
What is an avatar? What is yours?
What is the most beautiful thing in the world? And the most beautiful idea?
Make a voodoo doll of yourself.
What is the End of History? What is Gaia theory?
Explain the first sentence of the Tao Te Ching in your own words. What does it mean?
What is meant by ‘The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all’?
Can you find a book on making art through relationships?
Make a spaceship out of a co-dependency.
Make a paper chain out of love letter you wish you hadn’t received.
Redesign the human genitals in the light of Machiavelli’s The Prince.
Design a feminist annunciation scene.
Design something to sell on e-bay.
Design something to sell to the Bilderberg Group.
Design something to put on a bonfire.
Design something to put over a child’s bed.
Design something to put over your bed when you make love.
Make a model of Charles Darwin out of clay.
Design a UFO that an alien could not identify.
Make a paper aeroplane, and write your greatest fear on its left wing.
Make an icon out of popcorn.
Transform gold and silver from a solid to a gas.
Crush a coal into a diamond, and wear it around your neck.
Paint a series of snooker balls like planets, and then pot them one after the other.
Design a black mass, using materials from your neighbour’s garbage.
Design a work of art that takes up 0.791175 Gigabytes of space.
Design a new clock face, and add 38 new letters to the alphabet.
What is the difference between philosophy and advertising?
Who is Austin Osman Spare?
What is a sigil?
What is Thelema?
Who is François Rabelais?
What is the purpose of art?
What does ‘exchange’ mean to you?
What do you find easy?
Does art help? How?
What is a right? What is a responsibility?
What is the purpose of social sculpture? What is the purpose of a government grant?
What is the surest way to happiness?
Who is Clement Greenberg? Who is Harold Rosenberg?
What is attractive in men, and women?
Are you hairy or smooth?
What problems are peculiar to artists?
What is it like to be a European in the 21st Century?
What is our unique role?
Who is Michael Dukakis?
What is appropriation art?
What languages do you speak? In what language do you dream?
What religious articles do you always carry with you?
Make a bunker out of inappropriate materials.
Make a crown for a democrat.
Make an eschatological object, or use eschatological words.
Illustrate your conformity, act according to your demographic profile.
Design a box within a box to illustrate generosity.
Design a seat of government.
Why are you here?
What is a curator? Make a curative exhibition.
Make a piece of healthy art.
What do you think is the greatest hurt, mental or physical, that you have ever suffered? Are you sure?
What is an unexamined life?
Can you suggest a project, for yourself or for a group, or for any number, which might deepen your sensitivity to space-time?
What is greed? Who is greedy?
What is aural knowledge? Do you have antennae? Do you wish you had a tail?
What do you do to make yourself more politically attractive?
Why do you do this? Do you really like very political people?
Do they have special privileges?
What is political art? Explain its function in society.
Make a design of your favourite literary person. Event. History. Project for Ellis Island.
What do you think of money? Sing a song explaining your concept of money, or compose an instrumental piece using only coins, notes, and credit cards.
Should art be useful? Useless? What is Vril?
What is globalization? Libertarianism? Protectionism? Welfare?
What is leisure?
Make a structure out of photos of anthropologists.
Make a structure illustrating the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, or Alcoholics Anonymous’ Twelve Steps.
Can you construct a functioning lamp that illustrates the concept of denial?
Can you construct an ashtray that illustrates things as they really are?
What is surplus? Who is Marcel Mauss?
How can we humanize the city?
How can we humanize the art school? How can we redesign its studios and social spaces?
What should the staff offices look like? Where should they be?
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